Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
