the condom got lost in my hair
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
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my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
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drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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