Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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