I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
