He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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