i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
