well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
