Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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