The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Bring me that man meat
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize