with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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