its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
