The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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