would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We got so high we made milksteak
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
