theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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