Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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