oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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