butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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