I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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