soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
