I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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