I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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