well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
