It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
