i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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