I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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