Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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