I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
