Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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