fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
No subtext here. People are naked.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
