I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I think people are normalizing furries
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
