I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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