just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
