His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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