I could have mohawked her pubes.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
