The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
