So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
