i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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