My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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