This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize