Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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