dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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