Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
