remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
