hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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