I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
