Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
