He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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