Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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