he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
