No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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