Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
