That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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