It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Randomize
