Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
