I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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