why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
