Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
