Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize