i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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