I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
