I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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