so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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