My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
