u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
