dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
